DISCERNMENT COUNSELLING
Should You Stay or Should You Go?
Discernment Counselling is quite different from couples therapy because there is not yet an agreement between the couple to start couples therapy. The goal is to find clarity and confidence about a direction for the marriage, based on a deeper understanding of the relationship dynamics and each person’s contributions to the problems. Outcomes are framed in terms of three paths:
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Continue with the marriage as it has been,
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Separation/divorce, or
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A six month reconciliation period in couples therapy with divorce off the table. After six months, the couple will then decide whether the marriage can be made healthy for both parties.
The decision of which path to take is entirely up to you. There is no pressure to choose any one of the 3 paths.
The sessions are carefully designed to take each partner where they are, with an emphasis on individual conversations and carefully structured couple sharing. Both partners would need to attend all of the sessions though the sessions do not look like traditional couples therapy. Discernment Counselling is short term — a maximum of five sessions — and it’s not aimed at solving your problems but at determining what the issues are and whether they are solvable. There is a big emphasis on what each partner can learn about themselves from the problems that have befallen the marriage.
If you both pick Path 3 decide to work on the marriage, then I would shift gears into couples therapy. If you decide to divorce, I can help you decide on what kind of professional help is needed to have a constructive divorce.